This one was harder for me than I expected. I think it’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day of everything. Sometimes it’s hard to see through the fog of life, especially in a society that highlights only the things that shine. The truth is that for most people, things aren’t always “right.” Sometimes (most times for me) the house isn’t clean. The toys get scattered and then tidied, and then scattered again. Or maybe they don’t even get cleaned up at all. The dishes continue to pile beside the sink, and everyone goes to bed with traces of outside still on their skin. Life, for me, is very seldom polished, but that’s okay. Happiness can be found in dirty dishes and quiet living room conversations; it just depends on where you put love and attention. So here are a few of the things that bring me happiness every day.
#1 My Son
Something in the cosmos shined down on me and decided to give me my son. After years of trying to conceive, I finally talked with a doctor and was able to get pregnant after 4 rounds of letrozole.
So maybe it wasn’t some cosmic deity, but a little white pill that made me insanely hormonal, constantly diuretic, and profoundly happy after almost 3 years of trying to have a baby. My son truly does make me happy every single day. Don’t get me wrong, being a mother is hard, but there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t feel like the luckiest person in the world because I get to love him.
It’s the way he dances his little jig when The Office theme song comes on (where are my moms who keep the television playing in the background most of the day?). It’s how he runs to meet his daddy at the door at lunch time, and how we stand at the kitchen window and wave goodbye when he leaves.
When he brings me a book and then does that little backwards walk to find my lap so that he can see the book while I read, I’m reminded of how truly happy every moment with him is.
I could list 100 more things that he does, and maybe I will in another post one day. He just makes my life so much better; I’ll never forget how lucky I am to know him and grow him.
#2 My Husband
My husband is sitting beside me while I write this. I asked him, “What are some things that you think make me happy?”
After helping me brainstorm a few things, he bashfully said, “Well, I would say me, but I can also make you unfathomably angry sometimes too, I suppose.”
We both laughed and I assured him that the prompt said things that bring you happiness, not things that bring you only happiness. It’s moments like that–where we’re sitting in the dimly-lit living room, carrying on on our computers, occasionally chit-chatting about our days, while the baby sleeps–that I feel happy. It’s when he comes home for lunch and kisses our son and me while catching me up on things that happened in the first part of his day. It’s the way I see interact with our son; constantly doting, ever growing, always loving, his little boy. He brings more happiness to me and our family than he knows.
I don’t tell him nearly as often as I should that he’s a major aspect of my happiness. That I wouldn’t be who I am today without his presence in my life.
I love you, Jake.
#3 Rain/Thunderstorms
Okay, so I don’t live in the state of Washington, so I guess this doesn’t happen every day, but I do live in the southern United States and I’ve always heard the saying, “If you don’t like the weather, wait an hour.” That’s one of the things I love and hate about North Carolina–there’s always a chance for rain it seems. I know that people tend to find rainy, overcast days depressing, and don’t get me wrong, I love sunshine, too, but when it rains, I feel a deep sense of peace and contentedness that I don’t often get on sunny days.
Growing up, my parents used to have us turn out all of the lights in the house and get calm when rain and thunder would start up. Looking back, I can recognize and empathize with them. They were probably just looking for a moment where the chaos calmed. We’d sit in the living room of our little single-wide trailer while mother nature raged outside. It felt reverent. Like maybe we were paying respects to something a whole lot more powerful than us. Now, thunderstorms feel like a time for me to sit and be as contemplative as I can. To remember that there is something stronger than any of us on the planet, and that no matter what I do, no matter how the world changes, nature will always rule. It’s sobering but also deeply reassuring to know that.
#4 My Pets
I have 1 dog and 2 cats. It can get a little hectic sometimes with pets and a todler, but I wouldn’t change it. We got our first cat, Billie, while we were still in college. My mom had just died and I was lost in grief. Billie really helped me. I don’t know that I would have finished college without her. When we moved in together and got married a little while after college, we got our 2nd cat, Mundie, in the hopes that Billie wouldn’t feel lonely. He fit in nicely to our little family.
After working and trying for a baby for a while, we decided to get a puppy. We came across this little puppy at a rescue that had her tongue hanging out in all her pictures. We got her and fell in love. We named her Arlo after a character from a television show we had just finished watching. Arlo is the best dog we could have ever asked for. She really healed a part of me that needed to love and care for something during those days when it seemed like I’d never get the chance to carry a baby. She’s still the best girl to our little boy.
Our pets make me happy because they remind me of how animals feel and love. They have some emotions and connect to us in a very special way.
#5 Writing
Writing doesn’t always make me happy, but it usually helps me. Whether its venting, understanding, or explaining my emotions, being able to take even 10 minutes each day helps me feel more like myself. I know I’ve already said it, but life with a new baby and then eventually, a todler can be exhausting. It’s very easy to get sucked into the cycle of not taking a few minutes for myself, but writing helps me get out of that.
Like most writers, I have a love/hate relationship with writing. I tend to hate what I write and end up scrapping it before I can even let anyone read it. But I think sometimes, you just need to put it out into the world. Maybe it isn’t perfect. Maybe I could spend more time editing, re-writing, and changing something, but I’ve learned that my personal writing is just an outlet and doesn’t always have to be “the big” thing that I’ve been searching for in my abilities.
Writing also connects me to my mom. She isn’t here anymore, but I feel like she’d be happy to know that I’m still doing it. She enjoyed writing and supported me in it as well. I have hopes and dreams for my writing; I don’t ever want to give up on those because I know she wouldn’t want me to.
Anyway, this may be one of those pieces I didn’t edit as much as I should or round out as much as I should have, but I wrote today. I reflected on only a few of the things in my life that make me happy.
I’ll call that a good day.
A.B. Lee Writes 